Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Charles Ps music career, (continued)

After finding the "real" music scene very difficult to gain access to, Charles P crafted another strategy: to ride on the coattails of an already successful music god. After much careful deliberation, he chose a sure-fire idol, one that was certain to bring him to the top of the heap. He formed a Rick James tribute band, calling it "Stupid Freak" - and promptly began pushing hard for a record deal with Motown. Charles P is pictured here on the cover of their first, and only, record released on the Motown label. Once the Motown execs saw this cover and figured out that Charles P was white - pasty white - they canceled the record deal and the 30 city tour citing "artistic differences". Certainly, if they had seen Charles P perform the moving ballad "High on Your Love: I Just Need One More Hit" in person, they could have overlooked his gluey veneer. On the bright side, because this album was pulled from shelves soon after its release, very few copies are know to exist. "Stupid Freak part. 1 & 2 with Charles P" has become highly prized by audiophiles, with copies in good condition fetching over $8,000 on eBay. Charles P, of course, sees none of these profits.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Charles Ps music career, (continued)

Charles Ps innate hint of dignity led him to leave the Village people mid-tour. He wandered off stage during a rousing version of "In The Navy", simply taking his place in the normal nightly conga line and slipping off stage unnoticed. He wandered the streets and alleys of Europe looking for another music gig, getting dozens of auditions - but never quite breaking into the European music scene. Charles P is seen here standing on a chair as a finalist in a head-to-head audition for the music group WHAM! He lost to the guy on the right, and then went on to audition for Duran Duran, and some other pretty, Euro-Popsters. In a desperate bid to get into music videos, Charles P auditioned for the part the girl who gets pulled on stage to dance with Bruce Springsteen in the video of "Dancing in the Dark". While he lost the part to a younger and taller Courtney Cox - Charles P was comforted to know that The Boss was impressed enough to copy his patented "Dancing P Machine"moves in the video.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

and another.

Charles P dabbled in music for a while, joining the Village People for their 1978 World Tour, aptly titled: "We're Gonna Be Really Sorry About All This in 20 Years".

and another.

After Charles P was pulled from the pool and revived, he decided that he should not settle for just ONE job. He wanted many - at the same time, even. So he became a Cowboy, a Cop, a Sailor, an Electrician, an Indian Chief, and some-other-worn-out-stereotype.

and another.

After being bitten by an unsuspecting mammal, hard, Charles P decided the mercenary life was not for him. He then went into intensive training to become an Olympic swimmer.

It didn't work out.

and another.

In search of a job that would provide adventure, and yet give a deeper meaning to his life, Charles P decided to become a "Gun-For-Hire" - and rented himself out as a mercenary. He's seen here on assignment in leafy, squirrel-ravaged St. Paul, MN - on the lookout for unsuspecting mammals.

and another.

After leaving the trucking world behind, Charles P went to work as an independent logger in the Pacific Northwest. His "can do" attitude and the hard-scrabble, grizzled look he sported at the time made him immensely popular with the old-timers, and he soon earned the nickname "Stumpy". However, when he discovered that logging required him to actually CUT DOWN the trees instead of just sitting beneath them to enjoy his lunch, he threw his chainsaw into the river - which made him immensely popular with the Sierra Club, and left Charles P in search of another career.

charles p begins a career. and then begins another.

Ever the adventurer, Charles P has held a series of jobs in his search of the perfect career. His restless spirit has led him to pursue very diverse paths.....

He started his career quest as a long distance trucker soon after high school, this photo shows him setting off for the open road in his first OTR rig. But a limited CD collection and a highly persuasive Highway Patrol officer in Kentucky led him to abandon his trucking career shortly after starting.

Monday, December 8, 2008

embarrassing photos: holiday edition pt. 3

It's a little known fact that Charles P was the original "Hermey" in the Broadway version of Rankin-Bass' "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer". He was replaced by a misfit toy in the Made For TV version, and remained bitter about his Hollywood experience for years.

embarrassing photos: holiday edition pt. 2

So when I found Charles P in the living room at 3 am on Christmas morning, this is what he said to me: "I wasn't going to stab Santa". Right.

embarrassing photos: holiday edition pt. 1

A Christmas visit to Santa, Charles P style. Santa was a little pickled, as you can see. Charles P's revenge for having his hair blown back by Santa's raging whiskey breath? He left a neat little damp spot on Santa's knee....

Friday, December 5, 2008


Why a blog dedicated to embarrassing photos? Why Charles P Shaw? Who would do such a thing to poor Charles P? What on earth did he do to deserve this?


In a word; revenge. This is my dream, my ambition, my current unhealthy obsession.

As Charles P's long suffering Mother - I feel the only path to restoring balance in this world is to embarrass your children. It is my solemn duty, as a responsible and caring parent, to bring to light all of the things, both insignificant and extravagant, that may cause my beloved Charles P significant social discomfiture. Plus, it will give me great leverage in soliciting fabulous Mother's Day gifts and weekly phone calls from the now adult Charles P. My tactics are much more effective than guilt!

So relax, dear reader, and prepare to be entertained at Charles P's expense. Let it be known, I am not above telling a strategic fib or altering a photo in order to maximize embarrassment potential.
What you are about to see and read is based on a true story......